So, we are trying to make a routine for ourselves. It is really hard. We go to bed at like 11 p.m. and wake up at like noon, and we will end up only having slept for 7 and a half hours. Feedings in the middle of the night take a lot of time. She has been having a lot of gas pains, so we have to stay up with her while she is having them.
I am really thankful that I have Travis here for a while. I don't know if I could really do it alone at this point. I probably just wouldn't eat. It isn't complicated. It is just draining. I know it will get better; we are just waiting for that to happen.
Because of lack of sleep, seesawing hormones, and having no time for myself, I definitely have the baby blues. I wouldn't say I have postpartum depression or anything, but I am a little crazy. I was really happy in the hospital, but about two days after I got home, I started getting weepy, feeling anxious and overwhelmed, and feeling upset. I really want it to go away, and I know it will go away within the month. It just makes the whole experience a lot less enjoyable. In the morning, once I am awake, I feel a lot happier, and I enjoy her. However, once I get tired, I sometimes feel really upset. I won't go through everything I'm feeling, but it just is such a sharp contrast to how I felt those first couple days. It upsets me.
I don't know what I expected to feel. 50-80% of women get the baby blues, and it resolves itself within the first few weeks. I just wish I could feel happy all the time. She is sweet and cute, and I know I love her. I just don't feel it. Particularly between the hours of 10pm and 7am....
It doesn't help that I have now become an obsessive neat freak. Everything has to look great whenever I go to sleep. Yesterday, when she was sleeping, instead of sleeping or relaxing, I decided that I needed to organize my dresser and clean out my closet.
Yes, I might be losing my mind. If you find it, please give it back to me. I could really use it.
~Cara
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
The baby is BORN!!!
Aria Kay McGarrah
Born 12/16/11 at 8:54 p.m.
Weight: 6lbs. 12 oz.
Length: 19 inches
I was set to go to my 39 week doctors appointment which is right next to the hospital. The night before, we watched the Republican debate and went to bed early, so we could wake up at 9 for our appointment. I woke up at 1 am and couldn't go back to sleep until 3am. At 9, I naturally woke up to go to the bathroom, and I felt a bunch of trickling down my leg on the walk to the bathroom. My water broke! I decided that I would take a shower and get everything ready so that I could go to my appointment and make sure that it was amniotic fluid. We got there, and the doctor sent me over to the hospital.
We went over to the hospital, and they put me on a pitocin drip. I was apparently having contractions, but I wasn't feeling them. So the nurses slowly moved up my pitocin dosage until I started having regular contractions. When I came into the hospital, I was 4 cm and 90% effaced, and by the time I started to feel them, I was 5.5 cm and fully effaced. The doctor suggested that I get an epidural at that point, but I decided to wait until I was in more pain so that the epidural wouldn't freak me out as much. Oh, and putting in the IV was kinda painful. We had a little trouble getting it taped down.
So, Travis's parents came by, we called people, and the contractions got worse and worse. Finally, I decided that I needed an epidural. I was about 8-9 (out of 10) cm dilated at that point, and I got it. The epidural hurt a little bit, but my contractions were bad enough to make the pain from the epidural seem minimal. After I got the epidural, I felt pretty good. Right after that, the doctor came in and said I was 9 cm and going to be ready to push pretty soon.
Every time I had a contraction, I felt like my butt cheek was spasm-ing. And a few people came in until I got checked again. She didn't really have to check me because they could see Aria's head. So, it was time to push, and they were actually afraid to put my feet in the stirrups until everything was ready because Aria was already starting to crown. I only pushed for 15 minutes or less, and she was here!
They stitched me up because I did tear a tiny bit, but I really didn't feel anything. Apparently, I have a high pain tolerance because before I got my epidural, my contractions were really strong and only a minute apart. I really just was so afraid of the epidural that I dealt with a lot before I caved. Everything was really very easy. The worst part was getting the IV.
When they put Aria on me, the first thing I felt was honestly shock and fear. I had no idea what to do, and I felt really helpless. Then they took her away and did her APGAR score. When they brought her back, I slowly started to feel a connection, and after an hour of having her in my arms, I didn't want to let her go. She fed very easily. We took pictures, and she actually opened her eyes and smiled! It freaked out the doctors! They were amazed by her and said how beautiful she was.
So that was the birth of my sweet baby girl. Now, we are doing well. We are getting a fair amount of sleep, and she is feeding well. It kind of hurts sometimes... but it isn't too bad. I stopped taking my hydrocodon so that I wouldn't be making her sleepy all the time. So my stitches hurt. In fact, we went out to do some errand running today, and it started to hurt the stitches. I had to nurse her twice while we were sitting in the parking lot. It wasn't too bad, but I am pretty sure that 3 random people may have seen my boob today.... Oh well. I think going through birth and having a bunch of people stare at your special places makes you a LOT less modest. Especially when you boobs are used as a functional thing and not a sexual one. I think my perspective on boobs in general has changed dramatically.
Any way, I guess I will end this post. I will try to update everything as I go along.
Born 12/16/11 at 8:54 p.m.
Weight: 6lbs. 12 oz.
Length: 19 inches
I was set to go to my 39 week doctors appointment which is right next to the hospital. The night before, we watched the Republican debate and went to bed early, so we could wake up at 9 for our appointment. I woke up at 1 am and couldn't go back to sleep until 3am. At 9, I naturally woke up to go to the bathroom, and I felt a bunch of trickling down my leg on the walk to the bathroom. My water broke! I decided that I would take a shower and get everything ready so that I could go to my appointment and make sure that it was amniotic fluid. We got there, and the doctor sent me over to the hospital.
We went over to the hospital, and they put me on a pitocin drip. I was apparently having contractions, but I wasn't feeling them. So the nurses slowly moved up my pitocin dosage until I started having regular contractions. When I came into the hospital, I was 4 cm and 90% effaced, and by the time I started to feel them, I was 5.5 cm and fully effaced. The doctor suggested that I get an epidural at that point, but I decided to wait until I was in more pain so that the epidural wouldn't freak me out as much. Oh, and putting in the IV was kinda painful. We had a little trouble getting it taped down.
So, Travis's parents came by, we called people, and the contractions got worse and worse. Finally, I decided that I needed an epidural. I was about 8-9 (out of 10) cm dilated at that point, and I got it. The epidural hurt a little bit, but my contractions were bad enough to make the pain from the epidural seem minimal. After I got the epidural, I felt pretty good. Right after that, the doctor came in and said I was 9 cm and going to be ready to push pretty soon.
Every time I had a contraction, I felt like my butt cheek was spasm-ing. And a few people came in until I got checked again. She didn't really have to check me because they could see Aria's head. So, it was time to push, and they were actually afraid to put my feet in the stirrups until everything was ready because Aria was already starting to crown. I only pushed for 15 minutes or less, and she was here!
They stitched me up because I did tear a tiny bit, but I really didn't feel anything. Apparently, I have a high pain tolerance because before I got my epidural, my contractions were really strong and only a minute apart. I really just was so afraid of the epidural that I dealt with a lot before I caved. Everything was really very easy. The worst part was getting the IV.
When they put Aria on me, the first thing I felt was honestly shock and fear. I had no idea what to do, and I felt really helpless. Then they took her away and did her APGAR score. When they brought her back, I slowly started to feel a connection, and after an hour of having her in my arms, I didn't want to let her go. She fed very easily. We took pictures, and she actually opened her eyes and smiled! It freaked out the doctors! They were amazed by her and said how beautiful she was.
So that was the birth of my sweet baby girl. Now, we are doing well. We are getting a fair amount of sleep, and she is feeding well. It kind of hurts sometimes... but it isn't too bad. I stopped taking my hydrocodon so that I wouldn't be making her sleepy all the time. So my stitches hurt. In fact, we went out to do some errand running today, and it started to hurt the stitches. I had to nurse her twice while we were sitting in the parking lot. It wasn't too bad, but I am pretty sure that 3 random people may have seen my boob today.... Oh well. I think going through birth and having a bunch of people stare at your special places makes you a LOT less modest. Especially when you boobs are used as a functional thing and not a sexual one. I think my perspective on boobs in general has changed dramatically.
Any way, I guess I will end this post. I will try to update everything as I go along.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
39 weeks.
Yeah... woohoo. 39 Weeks. I'm still pregnant. I'm still contracting. Nothing good enough to go to the hospital. Tomorrow is really 39 weeks, but I thought I would go ahead and post while I wait for Travis to finish eating. We are going to HEB. I keep on shopping for like 4 days at a time because I don't know when she is going to come. Probably never. I am just going to be pregnant forever.
Travis still doesn't have a job, and we thought that he would by now which is stressful. And he didn't do amazing this semester.... *bikes*. So maybe stress will force Aria out because I think the toxic hormones in my body would make a baby WANT to come out. But who knows. I might have to just be induced.
Travis still doesn't have a job, and we thought that he would by now which is stressful. And he didn't do amazing this semester.... *bikes*. So maybe stress will force Aria out because I think the toxic hormones in my body would make a baby WANT to come out. But who knows. I might have to just be induced.
Monday, December 12, 2011
I'm still pregnant?
Yeah. I guess I have a lot to update about this week.
On December 2nd, I went into my OB's office and found out that I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. After getting checked, we went to San Antonio, and on the way home, I started having really bad contractions. They finally stopped.
A large portion of that week I had little false contractions, and they hurt. We kept on thinking in was going to be it, and nothing happened.
So on December 9th, we had another doctors appointment. The doctor was like- you're still here? Yes, I am regrettably still here. So she proceeded to measure how long my uterus is, and she had to push like almost into my boobs. The doctor was like, wow that baby has nowhere left to go. So then, she proceeded to check my cervix, and I was 3.5 cm dilated. Generally, you are admitted to the hospital around 3 cm, so it was kind of annoying that I was still floating around this area. The doctor also said that my cervix was really soft, so while she was up there, she decided to stretch it out and strip my membranes.
Stripping your membranes is when the doctor goes in past your cervix and detaches the amniotic sac from the inside of your cervix and uterus. If your body is ready (which mine was because my cervix is so soft) stripping membranes causes 2/3 women have their baby within 72 hours. After she did this, she told me she thought I was going to be one of the 2 women. She seemed to think that this would work.
Well I am here to tell you that she was wrong. That happened Friday at noon, and it is now Monday night. I had some really bad contractions on Friday night, but they were only in 30-40 minute bursts. Yesterday and today, I really haven't had many contractions. I just feel horrible. I am very sore in my back and in my abdomen. Also, I am really sleepy all the time. I think that I am just going to give up until Friday. They can induce you at 39 weeks or later. I know that her due date isn't until the 22nd or the 25th, but she should really be out by now. In fact, I didn't even have to bother doing another ultrasound because I am pretty sure my doctor thought that I wouldn't be at the next appointment. Maybe they will strip my membranes again, and she will come out. Friday would be a good day because Travis's mom will be done with her work by then and can come down to Austin.
I guess that it just feels like I am wasting my life right now. She is developed... my body is ready for her to be out... and I really am in too much discomfort to enjoy things very much. I get occasional bursts of energy, but they are generally at night when I should be winding down for bed. I can't enjoy just hanging around the house and watching movies with Travis. I need to finish decorating for Christmas, but I physically can barely get off the couch. I kind of did that one to myself though because on Saturday and Friday we walked a LOT to try to get her to come. So walking feels like I am 200+ pounds with the leg strength of a beagle.
I'll try to remember to update on Friday or if I happen to go into labor before that. I am thinking that it is not very likely though. Oh well.
On December 2nd, I went into my OB's office and found out that I was 3 cm dilated and 50% effaced. After getting checked, we went to San Antonio, and on the way home, I started having really bad contractions. They finally stopped.
A large portion of that week I had little false contractions, and they hurt. We kept on thinking in was going to be it, and nothing happened.
So on December 9th, we had another doctors appointment. The doctor was like- you're still here? Yes, I am regrettably still here. So she proceeded to measure how long my uterus is, and she had to push like almost into my boobs. The doctor was like, wow that baby has nowhere left to go. So then, she proceeded to check my cervix, and I was 3.5 cm dilated. Generally, you are admitted to the hospital around 3 cm, so it was kind of annoying that I was still floating around this area. The doctor also said that my cervix was really soft, so while she was up there, she decided to stretch it out and strip my membranes.
Stripping your membranes is when the doctor goes in past your cervix and detaches the amniotic sac from the inside of your cervix and uterus. If your body is ready (which mine was because my cervix is so soft) stripping membranes causes 2/3 women have their baby within 72 hours. After she did this, she told me she thought I was going to be one of the 2 women. She seemed to think that this would work.
Well I am here to tell you that she was wrong. That happened Friday at noon, and it is now Monday night. I had some really bad contractions on Friday night, but they were only in 30-40 minute bursts. Yesterday and today, I really haven't had many contractions. I just feel horrible. I am very sore in my back and in my abdomen. Also, I am really sleepy all the time. I think that I am just going to give up until Friday. They can induce you at 39 weeks or later. I know that her due date isn't until the 22nd or the 25th, but she should really be out by now. In fact, I didn't even have to bother doing another ultrasound because I am pretty sure my doctor thought that I wouldn't be at the next appointment. Maybe they will strip my membranes again, and she will come out. Friday would be a good day because Travis's mom will be done with her work by then and can come down to Austin.
I guess that it just feels like I am wasting my life right now. She is developed... my body is ready for her to be out... and I really am in too much discomfort to enjoy things very much. I get occasional bursts of energy, but they are generally at night when I should be winding down for bed. I can't enjoy just hanging around the house and watching movies with Travis. I need to finish decorating for Christmas, but I physically can barely get off the couch. I kind of did that one to myself though because on Saturday and Friday we walked a LOT to try to get her to come. So walking feels like I am 200+ pounds with the leg strength of a beagle.
I'll try to remember to update on Friday or if I happen to go into labor before that. I am thinking that it is not very likely though. Oh well.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Hanging out in the meter lab
So I am hanging out in the engineering building because Travis is working on his project, and I finally gave up sitting at home by myself. The chair is definitely not super comfortable after more than 10 minutes in here but oh well! I had hopes that I might run into some of our mutual friends while I was up here, but apparently, every engineer in the world comes up to the meter lab at the end of the semester. lol.
Uhm. I guess on Thursday it will be 38 weeks. I have another appointment on Friday. I am kind of hoping that we won't make it till Friday, but for some reason, I have been doing really well today. I haven't had any contractions or anything of that nature. So I might make it to Friday. I think that once Travis gets through his two finals, I am going to start taking measures into my own hands. Basically, in one week, I am just going to go ahead and send myself into labor... or at least do everything possible to make it happen. I'm thinking : walk to Starbucks, get a cinnamon dolce latte, and continue to walk around central park as I drink it. Then, sit on my bouncy ball and bounce for an hour. Then, we will go get something spicy. I guess Mexican food because I am not very good with stuff like Indian food.
Haha. I have it alllll planned out. Haha. She should be born on 12/12/11 so that her first birthday is 12/12/12! Ya! That's why she hasn't come yet. Or maybe I just feel super great today because I am about to go into labor. They do say that that can happen the day before.
Okay, I am definitely running out of things to talk about, but I am kind of bored. So I don't really have much else to do except type on here.....
So I decided to get on pinterest.... that was a BAD idea. I am so freaking hungry now, and all that is around are computers and people. Tempting. Actually, I finally got a craving for Kirby Queso. Maybe I can go to torchies. I feel bad because we just got food to cook, but I don't think I can last another 20 minutes here, 10 minutes home, and 30 minutes to cook. Omg... that is a whole HOUR.
MEH
Uhm. I guess on Thursday it will be 38 weeks. I have another appointment on Friday. I am kind of hoping that we won't make it till Friday, but for some reason, I have been doing really well today. I haven't had any contractions or anything of that nature. So I might make it to Friday. I think that once Travis gets through his two finals, I am going to start taking measures into my own hands. Basically, in one week, I am just going to go ahead and send myself into labor... or at least do everything possible to make it happen. I'm thinking : walk to Starbucks, get a cinnamon dolce latte, and continue to walk around central park as I drink it. Then, sit on my bouncy ball and bounce for an hour. Then, we will go get something spicy. I guess Mexican food because I am not very good with stuff like Indian food.
Haha. I have it alllll planned out. Haha. She should be born on 12/12/11 so that her first birthday is 12/12/12! Ya! That's why she hasn't come yet. Or maybe I just feel super great today because I am about to go into labor. They do say that that can happen the day before.
Okay, I am definitely running out of things to talk about, but I am kind of bored. So I don't really have much else to do except type on here.....
So I decided to get on pinterest.... that was a BAD idea. I am so freaking hungry now, and all that is around are computers and people. Tempting. Actually, I finally got a craving for Kirby Queso. Maybe I can go to torchies. I feel bad because we just got food to cook, but I don't think I can last another 20 minutes here, 10 minutes home, and 30 minutes to cook. Omg... that is a whole HOUR.
MEH
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Almost there
So I haven't really had the energy or time to sit down and write a post in a while, but Travis is gone. So I might as well update.
1. I went to the doctor on Friday. I am 37 weeks and full term, so the baby could come any time now. AND, apparently, that is definitely true. I am already 3 cm dilated (10 cm is pushing) and 50% effaced (or thinned out.... don't worry about it if you don't know what that means). This is a pretty common point to get to right before labor. Also, I have had some of the pre-labor signs. Well pretty much all of them. So really she could come any day. I'm thinking I might have about a week. My doctor was saying that we will see if I make it to the next visit this coming Friday.
2. I think they gave up caring about her size. Because I was supposed to get another sonogram, but she kinda felt for Aria and said she was a really good size. She said, "I love these average to smaller sized babies. We have been having a run of really big ones on the wing." So, I'm thinking Aria is good for size.
3. I have been having some intense contractions. I guess they aren't really Braxton Hicks because they are actually dilating me to some amount. They hurt a bit, and I think it is just a matter of time before they get strong enough to send me into true labor. Riding in the car sets them off really badly.
Yeah, so that's it. Nothing else really goes on in my life. lol
1. I went to the doctor on Friday. I am 37 weeks and full term, so the baby could come any time now. AND, apparently, that is definitely true. I am already 3 cm dilated (10 cm is pushing) and 50% effaced (or thinned out.... don't worry about it if you don't know what that means). This is a pretty common point to get to right before labor. Also, I have had some of the pre-labor signs. Well pretty much all of them. So really she could come any day. I'm thinking I might have about a week. My doctor was saying that we will see if I make it to the next visit this coming Friday.
2. I think they gave up caring about her size. Because I was supposed to get another sonogram, but she kinda felt for Aria and said she was a really good size. She said, "I love these average to smaller sized babies. We have been having a run of really big ones on the wing." So, I'm thinking Aria is good for size.
3. I have been having some intense contractions. I guess they aren't really Braxton Hicks because they are actually dilating me to some amount. They hurt a bit, and I think it is just a matter of time before they get strong enough to send me into true labor. Riding in the car sets them off really badly.
Yeah, so that's it. Nothing else really goes on in my life. lol
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